The spiritual journey is the pathway inward, the undoing of every scrap of belief that stems from this core belief. You have had glimpses of the “light behind the veil” and this is very encouraging.
The ego is terrified of the surrender and when the mind is identified with it, you experience its feelings. The ego is terrified of the Light. The ego is the belief in separation; the spiritual journey is its undoing.
I am glad you are turning back to the Course; we are deeply joined in our holy shared purpose of awakening to truth.
It is a pathway through the darkness to the light, so the fear will come up, along with all kinds of other uncomfortable emotions (that are all really just fear), but when you have a firm context, knowing that you are going for a healing, for a mind-overhaul, then there is no need to run away from it.
The mind, in the full awareness of the Atonement, knows that the separation never happened. The full awareness of the Atonement is that the separation never happened.
I always hear the same questions, “How did the impossible occur?” “To whom did the impossible occur?” I call them the top questions.
How did this happen in the first place? How could perfection, how could God, ever make a mistake? Or how could Christ, who is a perfect Being, ever make a mistake?
And basically, it is a statement. When you ask the questions, “How did the impossible occur?” or “How did this happen in the first place?” there is an assumption underneath the questions. And what is that assumption? That it happened! Of course the ego likes that assumption. Then it can ask all kind of questions including how this happened.
It is like you are on a wild goose chase to find the right theology, the right teacher, the right technique, the right mantra. Oh my gosh, the guilt of trying to solve that question. But the very assumption is something we have to learn to release.
There will be no theology that will come along to get you out of this. There is not going to be a concept. There will be an experience that will come that will end your doubting. In the Course that experience is the Atonement. The Atonement is full awareness that the separation never happened. In this respect, A Course in Miracles is a launching pad. You are on a launching pad where you are ready to take off in a rocket and get up in orbit where you have no sense of gravity. You are happy and free. A Course in Miracles is a book that is just designed to help you get up into orbit, into Being-ness, into your perfection.
An excerpt from Unwind Your Mind ~ Back to God by David Hoffmeister. This book meets the mind where it believes its self to be, in a deeply personal yet transcendent experience, it unwinds us from the stories that have kept us bound for millennia. Offering an intimacy and immediacy that is truly helpful in releasing the world by focusing on current upsets as portals of awakening.
This trilogy of deep dialogues and sparkling correspondences draws the reader through a myriad of scenarios past the presenting problem deep into the mind and back home to God.
"I hardly have words to express my gratitude for this book. Clarity, joy, light and love leap from every page!"
-Gabrielle Bernstein, New York Times best-selling author of Miracles Now. Unwind Your Mind ACIM